we are all ants

where is god's hand

die die die

amongst the behemoths
amongst the frail

amongst the sentinels
keeping
their silent watch

amongst the people
scurrying
about their lives

pause:

cheeks touching
hands holding
bodies hugging

tears unshed
tears dry

heart bared
heart barren

hollow
depth
falling
spiralling
disappear

go:

there i walk

amongst the frail
amongst the behemoths
alone

tiny ants that live in lil cracks are part and parcel of every HDB block. they don't amount to much but i have had ENOUGH! i am going to call a pest control company tomorrow. you don't see Melburnians having this problem.

why does life suck in its myriad ways

chillin winter winds, icy faces and cold feets
rubbing nose and snuggling suddenly sound very much appealing.
=)

before i met u

before i had a name

before i knew u

i've been loving u all my life

thank u

why are my blog in bold???? fucking nothing's right... ok, so its free so i shouldnt be complaining... fuck

prerogatives...

pms...

veto

music is the drug of preference

-digweed whore

do we live only for shouldering responsibilities, excel in all and let your progenitor glow and bask in glory hence they are happy? achieve. achieve. achieve. they scream, either in exceeding decibels or u hear their silent begs and dreams if they do not speak. guilt trips. achievements i will seek and i apologise to myself for failing to live my own dreams no matter how silly or dumbass they might be. i am after all only following the rules of utility. :|

[i repeat. we are trapped. we are all trapped in that vicious reality realm]

im a failure.

i know it for myself. it never seem to occur to the people around me, least of all my parents. i want to yell at them, scream hoarse at them, cant u see this? cant u look past ur self-delusions at foisting ur unfufilled dreams on me, and see me for the failure i am. i cannot be who i am, neither can i be who u aspired... and here i am(not), not u, not me, not anyone, nothing.

by ur unintentional decree.

i am a failure...

but

am i my failure,

or urs?

things i think of at 0553 in the morning:

i really ought to be sleeping

what the fuck's wrong with me

it's all doing down the drain

i know it

it's happening around me

swirling

adrift

down i go

and i'm just observing

placidly

things i think of at 0544 in the morning:

there should be a brainscan for everyone. a quantitative measure of a person's sum-total knowledge, regardless of what a person is knowledgable in. and it shall be cataloged in a person's permernant records together with life details such as social security number, first/last name, etc.

this shall serve as a means of measurement, akin to an iq score.

life would then be simplified.