u know the beat
u know the groove
locking u into it
oh u know what im talking about
that zone
the strings/the melodies/the ambience
bringing ur mind to another place
drifting
exploring
adventurers of the antipode
ur body moving with
a will of its own
u're not in
control
oh no let it go
ur heart knows where its at
ur body recognises
the groove
oh yeah the groove, baby, let it go
let it go...
feel it
the basslines
overwhelm u, big fat
did i say fat? phat!
twisted/droning/rolling
the beats
sharp/succinct/slice
dice/drawn/quatered
im losing my mind, are u
the strings
scintillating/titillating
oh yeah, close ur eyes, feel ur mind
shudders/shivers/tingles
the build
anticipating/beating/pounding
ur heart, baby, can u feel it?
faster frenzied madness
and then
it breaks
like a wave
a trough
rolling/crashing/sinking
it draws u in
it drags u under
u're lost
so lost and yet, never been so there
u know?
yes u know what im saying
u feel it
oh yeah
just
let
go
feel it
soak it
up
move
30.6.02
im trying to write something tonight, but the words dont come so im just gonna tell it straight; it's all a mess so bad i cant pin down the turmoil within. and im afraid of pinning it down, its there but im kinda trying to sidestep it... afraid if i pin it down, if i name it, whatever, nothing, void, it, takes form and overwhelms me.
does that make sense?
as these things go... this is about a girl. and we've all heard the stories many times over and we've seen it all in the movies.
but this is my story, and u dont have to read this.
this is about a girl... with the biggest eyes i can float in. the impish smile with the twinkle and one dimple. she had long and the straightest hair... with bands of corvette red through it, which went with my cherry red, goatee, that is, but no more.
this is about a girl... the light in my world, the good in my world; how do i explain it? she made it all worthwhile. sha made me live instead of just breathe. she made my heart sing when i have the worst voice ever.
this is about a girl... i walked the streets with, looking up at apartments; wondering at people's lives.
i cant write this anymore, i dont know why i started... its not helping, its doing shit for me frankly speaking. im here fucked, trying to hold everything back and she's probably sleeping right now. funny how we think our sufferings are all so unique and noone ever understands... that's what's going through my head and i really dunno what im doing, i can feel it all slipping away; what i started with is gone and i am left with nothing... cept the bitterness and im trying so hard not to hate but i do and im trying trying trying to hold it back cos we all know and i know i shouldn't be giving into that.
this is about the girl... my soulmate if u will, though that begs the question... if she's not with me now, does that void the soulmate status? if we're no longer sharing, does that mean we were never meant to be? and now im doing my own head in.
this is about the girl... i spoke with, about buying furniture, about having pets and no, she doesnt like to have children.
this is about the girl... whom i shared music with, and that should be enough to indicate what she meant.
this is about the girl... i remember sitting with, looking out over the city lights, telling me, she's not afraid anymore.
this is about the girl... who told me she doesnt feel for anything, anyone, anymore.
she lost it
and i have not
so where the fuck does that leave me?
right here.
does that make sense?
as these things go... this is about a girl. and we've all heard the stories many times over and we've seen it all in the movies.
but this is my story, and u dont have to read this.
this is about a girl... with the biggest eyes i can float in. the impish smile with the twinkle and one dimple. she had long and the straightest hair... with bands of corvette red through it, which went with my cherry red, goatee, that is, but no more.
this is about a girl... the light in my world, the good in my world; how do i explain it? she made it all worthwhile. sha made me live instead of just breathe. she made my heart sing when i have the worst voice ever.
this is about a girl... i walked the streets with, looking up at apartments; wondering at people's lives.
i cant write this anymore, i dont know why i started... its not helping, its doing shit for me frankly speaking. im here fucked, trying to hold everything back and she's probably sleeping right now. funny how we think our sufferings are all so unique and noone ever understands... that's what's going through my head and i really dunno what im doing, i can feel it all slipping away; what i started with is gone and i am left with nothing... cept the bitterness and im trying so hard not to hate but i do and im trying trying trying to hold it back cos we all know and i know i shouldn't be giving into that.
this is about the girl... my soulmate if u will, though that begs the question... if she's not with me now, does that void the soulmate status? if we're no longer sharing, does that mean we were never meant to be? and now im doing my own head in.
this is about the girl... i spoke with, about buying furniture, about having pets and no, she doesnt like to have children.
this is about the girl... whom i shared music with, and that should be enough to indicate what she meant.
this is about the girl... i remember sitting with, looking out over the city lights, telling me, she's not afraid anymore.
this is about the girl... who told me she doesnt feel for anything, anyone, anymore.
she lost it
and i have not
so where the fuck does that leave me?
right here.
25.6.02
24.6.02
20.6.02
bouyant
floating
arms leaden
thighs achen
chest tighten
i cant see
thoughts
words
flotsam
i cant think
bouyant
floating
dark
hot
viscous
dont know
where to
go
go
go
just go
somewhere/anywhere
action/reaction
pull/push
life/death
happiness/sadness
go
go
go
im trying so hard
if only i knew
what was
wrong
right
i would fix it
fix
fix
fix
i need a high
so high
i dont feel
i dont think
just high
please
where am i
i dont belong here
not there
i exist
in this moment
of time
uncomprehending
unknowing
just get me high
so it all falls away
please.
floating
arms leaden
thighs achen
chest tighten
i cant see
thoughts
words
flotsam
i cant think
bouyant
floating
dark
hot
viscous
dont know
where to
go
go
go
just go
somewhere/anywhere
action/reaction
pull/push
life/death
happiness/sadness
go
go
go
im trying so hard
if only i knew
what was
wrong
right
i would fix it
fix
fix
fix
i need a high
so high
i dont feel
i dont think
just high
please
where am i
i dont belong here
not there
i exist
in this moment
of time
uncomprehending
unknowing
just get me high
so it all falls away
please.
im 3 days home and im regretting it already. the heat is sweltering, it drains and saps at me like an omnipresent leech, feeding off me. im feeling down and i dont really know why... is it the lack of my 5htp supplementation? i had thought perhaps... i'd be happy enough to be back home to not require them, but no.
i dont want to be here anymore than i want to be back there.
as usual, lost and drifting, my life.
i cant even focus enough to write something as much as i would like to express it... and there's no one i can tell this to who would understand, without receiving some patronising sympathies in response.
fuck that.
no one would understand what is in my head right now, as much as they think or profess to... how can they when i dont even know what is going on inside? i need some physicality, some form of action to distract myself... and i think to myself, i wished i could be intoxicated and then wake up to something else, anything else.
give me something to believe in again.
i dont want to be here anymore than i want to be back there.
as usual, lost and drifting, my life.
i cant even focus enough to write something as much as i would like to express it... and there's no one i can tell this to who would understand, without receiving some patronising sympathies in response.
fuck that.
no one would understand what is in my head right now, as much as they think or profess to... how can they when i dont even know what is going on inside? i need some physicality, some form of action to distract myself... and i think to myself, i wished i could be intoxicated and then wake up to something else, anything else.
give me something to believe in again.
16.6.02
i lean against the pole
under the shelter
on a cold winter night
arms akimbo
i look infront of me
a lady
dark skinned
lined face
shawl around her head
leapord print jacket swaddled
what has she seen?
that marked her face so
hardship in her eyes
why was she alone
on this cold winter night?
i wonder about her family
a man
olive skinned
an accent
a tight jacket with frills
long limbed
pointy shoes
i gave him the time
wondering
where he is partying tonight
i hope he didnt miss his tram
a girl
in a chequed jacket
fair skinned
framed by silky black hair
legs crossed
one foot shaking
i dont like that
enraptured
lit screen of her cellular
highlighting her eyes
fingers tapping
an sms
to a boyfriend waiting?
a man
immaculately dressed
well groomed
turtle necked
peeking out of a blazer
hand gripping
a briefcase
sleek
i like it
i lit his ciggerate
he looks at and thanks me
i smiled
he looks at me again
walked away
and i looked after him
wondering
about his job
on a late saturday night
i looked to my right
a couple
asian
speaking in my mother tongue
a language i should know
but i dont
the boy is looking
not at her
the girl is pleading
hugs him
he looks not at her
wondering
will they work it out?
i hope so
been there
i look to my left
across the tracks
a man
chin touching his chest
grizzled beard
running down his torso
he shuffles
muttering to himself
sometimes leaning like me
hands cupped
around a hot drink
i see him everyday
same spot
same clothes
arms akimbo
on a cold winter night
under the shelter
i leaned againt the pole
at the tram stop
at a traffic junction
a stopover of sorts
a crossroad of sorts
and i wonder
about
the secret lives of us
under the shelter
on a cold winter night
arms akimbo
i look infront of me
a lady
dark skinned
lined face
shawl around her head
leapord print jacket swaddled
what has she seen?
that marked her face so
hardship in her eyes
why was she alone
on this cold winter night?
i wonder about her family
a man
olive skinned
an accent
a tight jacket with frills
long limbed
pointy shoes
i gave him the time
wondering
where he is partying tonight
i hope he didnt miss his tram
a girl
in a chequed jacket
fair skinned
framed by silky black hair
legs crossed
one foot shaking
i dont like that
enraptured
lit screen of her cellular
highlighting her eyes
fingers tapping
an sms
to a boyfriend waiting?
a man
immaculately dressed
well groomed
turtle necked
peeking out of a blazer
hand gripping
a briefcase
sleek
i like it
i lit his ciggerate
he looks at and thanks me
i smiled
he looks at me again
walked away
and i looked after him
wondering
about his job
on a late saturday night
i looked to my right
a couple
asian
speaking in my mother tongue
a language i should know
but i dont
the boy is looking
not at her
the girl is pleading
hugs him
he looks not at her
wondering
will they work it out?
i hope so
been there
i look to my left
across the tracks
a man
chin touching his chest
grizzled beard
running down his torso
he shuffles
muttering to himself
sometimes leaning like me
hands cupped
around a hot drink
i see him everyday
same spot
same clothes
arms akimbo
on a cold winter night
under the shelter
i leaned againt the pole
at the tram stop
at a traffic junction
a stopover of sorts
a crossroad of sorts
and i wonder
about
the secret lives of us
mara soundsystem
what a night at sunny... imagine the setting if u will: a room all dark with hardly any "club" lights, smoke, lasers, projections... and one spotlight shining upon, not the duo, but the decks, lighting up the wispy tendrils of smoke curling around the console.
add to that, a roomful of people full of the vibe only an overseas crowd, vibe, and drugs can fuel. up for anything, anything goes.
electrifying.
i found my dancing feet again last night.
the night started off with an eclectic progressive set from gavin kietel and then handing over to gab oliver. gab played his usual deep/dark/atmospheric set which wasnt going anywhere unfortunately and i was set to chill out on the bed for the rest of the night.
mara came on after, which i dragged myself off the bed for. after a night of lethargy, took a while to get into the groove. was standing on the steps just bobbing my head. barry mixed and sarah oversaw the effects. an onslought of hollow basslines, hard sharp beats and groove proceeded. on hindsight, the set almost reminded me of the pappa experience, but funkier. they maintained the energy very well, with intermittent troughs but easily picking up the pace again with the follow-on tracks. there i was, body locked in the groove, feet flying to the beats, arms flailing to the basslines... and just when i decided to myself they rocked, sarah took the platform behind the decks, proceeding to sway and sing ontop of what barry was playing. imagine the sillouette: barry with his headphones, bent over the decks, occassionally waving his arms and jumping, hyping up the dancefloor further, his wife dancing and singing into a mike behind and above him. her soaring housey vocals overlaying the tough driving beats, at times, standing out amidst the bass drops and ambient breakdown of some tracks. sometimes envelope by the effects that travelled the speakers surrounding the room.
a very interesting and unique experience, with the effects merging with the tracks rather than detracting from them, sarah's singing... it bridged and hybridised the typical dj set and a live performance.
if getting the crowd to move is any indication of how good the performance was, my feet gave them two toes up.
the afterparty saw mara and a chaotic mass of people converging on someone's house and everyone proceeded to get fucked further. caught up with dave at sunny and chatted with the duo at the afterparty about their music, their experiences, the singapore scene, progressive sounds in general and where they saw it going.
"its my life!" -sarah, when asked by a friend what music is to her.
given a crowd, mara can easily whip them up into a frenzy. they are stopping by tokyo after leaving melbourne on friday and i am fairly certain the techno-oriented scene in japan would love their sound.
that is all.
what a night at sunny... imagine the setting if u will: a room all dark with hardly any "club" lights, smoke, lasers, projections... and one spotlight shining upon, not the duo, but the decks, lighting up the wispy tendrils of smoke curling around the console.
add to that, a roomful of people full of the vibe only an overseas crowd, vibe, and drugs can fuel. up for anything, anything goes.
electrifying.
i found my dancing feet again last night.
the night started off with an eclectic progressive set from gavin kietel and then handing over to gab oliver. gab played his usual deep/dark/atmospheric set which wasnt going anywhere unfortunately and i was set to chill out on the bed for the rest of the night.
mara came on after, which i dragged myself off the bed for. after a night of lethargy, took a while to get into the groove. was standing on the steps just bobbing my head. barry mixed and sarah oversaw the effects. an onslought of hollow basslines, hard sharp beats and groove proceeded. on hindsight, the set almost reminded me of the pappa experience, but funkier. they maintained the energy very well, with intermittent troughs but easily picking up the pace again with the follow-on tracks. there i was, body locked in the groove, feet flying to the beats, arms flailing to the basslines... and just when i decided to myself they rocked, sarah took the platform behind the decks, proceeding to sway and sing ontop of what barry was playing. imagine the sillouette: barry with his headphones, bent over the decks, occassionally waving his arms and jumping, hyping up the dancefloor further, his wife dancing and singing into a mike behind and above him. her soaring housey vocals overlaying the tough driving beats, at times, standing out amidst the bass drops and ambient breakdown of some tracks. sometimes envelope by the effects that travelled the speakers surrounding the room.
a very interesting and unique experience, with the effects merging with the tracks rather than detracting from them, sarah's singing... it bridged and hybridised the typical dj set and a live performance.
if getting the crowd to move is any indication of how good the performance was, my feet gave them two toes up.
the afterparty saw mara and a chaotic mass of people converging on someone's house and everyone proceeded to get fucked further. caught up with dave at sunny and chatted with the duo at the afterparty about their music, their experiences, the singapore scene, progressive sounds in general and where they saw it going.
"its my life!" -sarah, when asked by a friend what music is to her.
given a crowd, mara can easily whip them up into a frenzy. they are stopping by tokyo after leaving melbourne on friday and i am fairly certain the techno-oriented scene in japan would love their sound.
that is all.
14.6.02
seeing that nose
those eyes
that smile
that shy smile
with your head
tilted to your side
that tentative smile
venturing
uncertain
feeling your lips
so soft
hearing your voice
smiling
i touch you again
in my heart
in a time past
i hold you again
in my mind
memories past
my heart stops
my mind reels
my body yearns
my eyes
searching
wishing
hoping
i smiled
and did
what i wanted a month ago
i gave you the set of hairpins
those eyes
that smile
that shy smile
with your head
tilted to your side
that tentative smile
venturing
uncertain
feeling your lips
so soft
hearing your voice
smiling
i touch you again
in my heart
in a time past
i hold you again
in my mind
memories past
my heart stops
my mind reels
my body yearns
my eyes
searching
wishing
hoping
i smiled
and did
what i wanted a month ago
i gave you the set of hairpins
11.6.02
10.6.02
creamer/jamieson/foort/trance, a current state of affairs
well.... im still a bit fucked so this will be brief.
jamieson left no impression on me, unfortunately... played deep and dark, just like another dj out there at the moment, nothing stood out; which is very unfortunate considering his works as evolution... and he didnt even play their latest release, walking on fire...
...which brings me to foort, he was the one who actually dropped that... foort was pretty banging... touch and go...
...now creamer, WOW, im impressed... very nice, tasty track selection, dropped a very very nice remix of marscarter which i havent heard b4... maybe creamer's own remix? he was playing some tribal, but not boring progressive, more like, tribal with a lot of spacey, ambient sounds... very impressive tribal set... and he dropped jv - into the blue i think, last track, beautiful.
so... that's the short summary of the night, nothing else to report, cept the crowd was probably one of the sleaziest i've ever seen, and
****this deserves a section on its own****
every single time i hear it, it further reaffirms my conviction that today's trance SUCKS, it should've died a natural death with dignity in the yesteryears, rather than whoever-fuck-makes-the-music milk it for all its worth. its DEAD, get over it, TRANCE IS DEAD.
the only good trance i expect to hear are from the old days, and certain progressive tracks today incorporating the sound, very good example is the rob and skinner remix of nash-t - the dark (deep, dark, with a nice touch of trance in it... this is the only track i've heard recently which emodies this "dark trance" (can i copyright that phrase b4 it catches on?) sound). trance as *I* know it can only survive as being incorporated into other forms of music, trance as a genre today is akin to squeezing blood out of a rock.
yes... that is my rant on the current state of trance... tonight's event was a trance night, the aforementioned djs all played in the progressive side room... i stepped momentarily into the main room, firstly got disoriented by how big the room was, by the lights... and when i adjusted to the surroundings, the music hit me in its blatant obscenity, it was so fucking boring and predictable, i could've written the track if i had a sound engineer to work with.... what was mind bogglingly amazing was the number of people dancing to it.
yes i am a bigot, yes i am arrogant, now that we got that cleared up and out of the way, let me continue my rant (this post is turning out longer than i thought... damn verbal diarrhoea/introspection... if only i studied this in school, i can fucking do my essays on comedowns!)... usually i try to be open to different forms of music... they're all sounds to me, put together in a coherently pleasing manner, but the shite i heard... as much as i try, i cannot accept it AT ALL, it is a fucking affront to my ears... if i was a music nazi, i would round up all these producers and have them shot. stop contaminating these people, these sheep! stop misleading them! surly these people cannot be so deaf as to accept it... surly, i would like to believe, these people are simply not enlightened, surly they would come around if only someone could show them what is out there, without the narrow confines of predictable drum rolls, snyth riffs.
the trance of yesteryears had a grace to it, it had melody, it had some fucking self-respect... what we have today, what i heard last night, was as blatant a manipulation of human superficial emotions as any top 40s pop tune.
sorry for the rant, sorry if i offended any trance lovers in particular, i know owen still likes his trance but im sure he would have to agree with the arguments i have put out.
TRANCE IS DEAD.
unless someone can seriously prove me wrong, that is all i have to rant regarding this issue... this is my final word on the genre which has introduced the majority of us to electronic music, to which we all had a certain affinity for, to which i still get the tingles to.
well.... im still a bit fucked so this will be brief.
jamieson left no impression on me, unfortunately... played deep and dark, just like another dj out there at the moment, nothing stood out; which is very unfortunate considering his works as evolution... and he didnt even play their latest release, walking on fire...
...which brings me to foort, he was the one who actually dropped that... foort was pretty banging... touch and go...
...now creamer, WOW, im impressed... very nice, tasty track selection, dropped a very very nice remix of marscarter which i havent heard b4... maybe creamer's own remix? he was playing some tribal, but not boring progressive, more like, tribal with a lot of spacey, ambient sounds... very impressive tribal set... and he dropped jv - into the blue i think, last track, beautiful.
so... that's the short summary of the night, nothing else to report, cept the crowd was probably one of the sleaziest i've ever seen, and
****this deserves a section on its own****
every single time i hear it, it further reaffirms my conviction that today's trance SUCKS, it should've died a natural death with dignity in the yesteryears, rather than whoever-fuck-makes-the-music milk it for all its worth. its DEAD, get over it, TRANCE IS DEAD.
the only good trance i expect to hear are from the old days, and certain progressive tracks today incorporating the sound, very good example is the rob and skinner remix of nash-t - the dark (deep, dark, with a nice touch of trance in it... this is the only track i've heard recently which emodies this "dark trance" (can i copyright that phrase b4 it catches on?) sound). trance as *I* know it can only survive as being incorporated into other forms of music, trance as a genre today is akin to squeezing blood out of a rock.
yes... that is my rant on the current state of trance... tonight's event was a trance night, the aforementioned djs all played in the progressive side room... i stepped momentarily into the main room, firstly got disoriented by how big the room was, by the lights... and when i adjusted to the surroundings, the music hit me in its blatant obscenity, it was so fucking boring and predictable, i could've written the track if i had a sound engineer to work with.... what was mind bogglingly amazing was the number of people dancing to it.
yes i am a bigot, yes i am arrogant, now that we got that cleared up and out of the way, let me continue my rant (this post is turning out longer than i thought... damn verbal diarrhoea/introspection... if only i studied this in school, i can fucking do my essays on comedowns!)... usually i try to be open to different forms of music... they're all sounds to me, put together in a coherently pleasing manner, but the shite i heard... as much as i try, i cannot accept it AT ALL, it is a fucking affront to my ears... if i was a music nazi, i would round up all these producers and have them shot. stop contaminating these people, these sheep! stop misleading them! surly these people cannot be so deaf as to accept it... surly, i would like to believe, these people are simply not enlightened, surly they would come around if only someone could show them what is out there, without the narrow confines of predictable drum rolls, snyth riffs.
the trance of yesteryears had a grace to it, it had melody, it had some fucking self-respect... what we have today, what i heard last night, was as blatant a manipulation of human superficial emotions as any top 40s pop tune.
sorry for the rant, sorry if i offended any trance lovers in particular, i know owen still likes his trance but im sure he would have to agree with the arguments i have put out.
TRANCE IS DEAD.
unless someone can seriously prove me wrong, that is all i have to rant regarding this issue... this is my final word on the genre which has introduced the majority of us to electronic music, to which we all had a certain affinity for, to which i still get the tingles to.
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