time...

a journey is what i have to take,
to find myself that choice i must make.
to wonder through the hands of all time,
a vision of my life i must find.

the time has come for me to depart,
i'll leave the world a piece of my heart.
where i go you cannot follow,
if i'll be back i really don't know.

girl you know i won't forget,
all those times we spent.
no one said that it would last,
girl i won't forget the past.

time......

you'll say you'll miss me i won't belive,
cause you laughed at me and all of my dreams.
but now the laughs are at your expense,
'cause where i go my dreams all make sense.

girl you know i won't forget,
all those times we spent.
no one said that it would last,
girl i won't forget the past.

time...

the time
i'll never forget
those times that we spent
i'll never never, never forget
all those times, that we spent
girl you know
i'll never forget
all those times, that we spent
i'll remember, all those times that we spent
i'll remember, all those good times
all those times, that we spent

time......

- slam - lifetimes

numb/dead/emotionless
a torture beyond hurts

zombified
trapped
empty breathing shell

worse than death
i refuse to let myself be drained.

once emotionless/once numbed/ it's weird/ felt like a stone for mths/ nothing seems to matter/ stucked in a void where u dun really feel happiness and depressing shit doesn't seem to kill u either/ its like nothing matters and u only know u are embarked on this path of self destruction/ the light in u flickering / casting shadows on ur existence/ i rem seeking rest/ asking for an end/ to escape the void within/

it's not a good place. i hate that void. there's no ups and downs. just a zombie doing the everyday. i like to believe . i remind myself to believe that thru the abyss, one learns to appreciate the light of everyday.

if u
were
in my heart
i surly
not break u
if u were
beside me
and my love
would take u
i'll keep u
in safety
forever
protect u
i'll hide u
away from
the world
u rejected

i'll hide u

i'll hide u

i'll hide u

i'll hide u

-kosheen - hide u

empty | sorry | insecure | confused {i}

miss {u}

love {i,u}

im beginning to lose my connection with music... used to be able to listen to music when im down, submerge and lose myself in it and i'd go wherever the music wants to bring me... its happening less and less... now when im down, im just down, and im looking for things to numb myself with.

Maybe it's not true
The love we see on the TV
The sort we always imagine

Some things just don't come true
There'll always be some distraction
Like a shiny red balloon
That will eventually spoil everything

-yukun

shiny red balloon
of days gone by

speck in the sky
wide clear blue
bright sunny vista
of days gone by

look
touch
cold
glass

tv

-off-

starjourneywork.doc

what can i say to you friend, 1 day as me and father crested a hill dad told me "life isnt fair dont get your hopes up", I replied "why dad the world is beautiful", he said "beauty can be dangerous", I replied but "why would anyone want to hurt me", he said "the whole world is full of pain", i said "but dad I cant fix everything", he said "the future is in your hands", I said "but I just want to live", he said "life is hard you are lucky to be alive", I said "but I didnt choose to be born", he said "you still are responsible for your actions"


so as I walked down the hill we stood on dad stayed at the top, he said "why would you want to walk down there?, I can see everything from the top.", I did not answer and kept walking until i reached a small stream, I crossed it and walked into a meadow with lush grass with thousands of butterflies, i picked a handful of grass and on closer inspection found that each blade was infinitely different from its neighbour, and they glistened with irridescent dew, i put 1 blade in my pocket and walked back across the stream, and up the hill, when I reached the top I found night had fallen and my dad said "look what you where missing, look at those stars!" I handed dad the blade which he fingered with distaste and replied "but dad, I believe a blade of grass is no less than the journeywork of the stars dad" -walt whitman

[04:37] sometimes we get caught up in the problems of our life and dont allow ourselves to sit back and enjoy the enexplicable beauty of the moment
[04:37] dude this may seem arrogant but you should put this somewher to remind you to keep it real
[04:38] and to fuck off expectation


[this is from a good friend i met online (the wonders of modern technology bringing ppl together never fails to surprise nor amazes me), kieran, whose introspection, insights and maturity belies his age and who more often than not, provokes and gives me the tight slap of reality. he should definitely write more]

start: facelift

simple
minimal
line
leading
layout
draw
eyes
move
unified

but
narrow

end: facelift

[omni nectar brought to you by matt flook]

felt like u wanna cry but u cant?
or dying but u're too chicken?

stop glorifying it all. loser

the pit is such a familiar place but it feels like im visiting for the first time tonight
everytime i think the lump in my chest has hit the bottom, it sinks
somemore
when i take a breath.

weak fucking loser i am a knot of contradictions so tightly wound up in myself
idunseewhereitstartsorend
i am the self-righteous bastard who convinces himself he is
not.

i cant see anyone respecting me
im sure someone doesnt tonight
i dun deserve to be loved but please
i dun deserve to be in the perfect world i was in please

i cant
go
on

but i cant do the deed either.

fucking loser.

i am an ant
where is god's hand?

die die die

Kiss more

things i love abt u

u took melbourne away
with u
when u
left

picture
wall

featherlight
touch
carress
concrete
intangible

window
home

so near
reach
though
ouch
touch

concrete
paper

i miss u

reflections
rewind/ffwd/chapters of life/
each of us writing our own books
so different yet so alike
isolated in cells/
the prison of life.